i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
