my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize