And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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