If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
