I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
don't judge my taste in strippers
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
