My nipple is on Facebook.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize