quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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