We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize