This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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