Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
