Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
