I forgot how hot balto sounded
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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