Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
