Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
