if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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