is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize