FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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