hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
