I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
