so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
