Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
