It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
