i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
