I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
