Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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