My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
