I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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