The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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