I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
