So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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