guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
