Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize