I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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