honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
