...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
50% drunk capacity currently
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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