how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
