I'm going to rape someone's good day.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
