If i could tip my vagina, i would.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
