I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
