Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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