It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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