...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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