I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
