Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
