I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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