saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
