dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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