so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
