you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
