i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
