Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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