Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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