Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
