this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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