Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
that may or may not have been my penis.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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