so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The power of my boobs compel you
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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